THE ARACHNATTACK AND HOW TO SURVIVE

Committees are in session. Delegates are either falling asleep or battling it out on the floor. Chairs are abusing the gavel. Mr. Janzen, grinning from ear to ear, is incredibly pleased to see that everything is running smoothly – or so he thinks.

Deep inside the belly of the QNCC building, a monster is about to be awakened by the clacking of extremely high-heels. The spider stirs, rises – it’s alive! And it’s hungry!

The admin staff, who have been trained by many mystical masters, simply run away. The head of admin ducks her head under the reflection pool. And you, the delegates, what would you do?

The delegates of Togo in the Security Council, one craven and one brave, offer some tips. One suggests you get yourself onto high ground. “Find something to fling, like a fire extinguisher or one of the dry cookies from the cafeteria,” he said. The other advises you to simply run for your life and wait for no one and nothing.

The press team has long believed that the awakening of “Maman” exceeds all other issues in importance. Because of this, we are prepared. No, running is not an option for us. Neither is the use of firearms. So we make do with more legal items- tables, chairs, stilettos and lipstick bombs. As for, the eggs, worry not. The reporters and editors have devised slingshots, made of laptop wires and pens.

So, dear delegates and staff of the THIMUN Qatar 2013 Conference, do not fret or use fellow delegates as human shields. When the time comes, the press team will be here to save the day.

By: Tala Ezedien and Marika Mascarenhas

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